DSM-5 Entry: 301.89
Trump Derangement Syndrome

1. Do you scream at your TV (or phone) whenever Trump appears or is mentioned?
Yes No

2. Have you ever doomscrolled Truth Social, X, or news sites at 3-4 a.m. refreshing for new "bombshells"?
Yes No

3. Do you refer to everyday items (hats, the color orange, Diet Coke cans) as "fascist" or "MAGA-coded"?
Yes No

4. Do you involuntarily twitch or roll your eyes when someone says "covfefe," "bigly," or "perfect call"?
Yes No

5. Have you ever yelled "He's literally Hitler!" at a sunset, Cheeto, or traffic cone?
Yes No

6. Do you mentally subtitle every news story with "orange man bad" or "end of democracy"?
Yes No

7. Have you threatened to move to Canada/New Zealand/Mars after every election cycle?
Yes No

8. Do you diagnose friends/family with "internalized fascism" if they laugh at a Trump meme?
Yes No

9. Do you experience physical symptoms (clenched fists, racing heart) during political speeches or Truth Social screenshots?
Yes No

10. Do you blame literally everything (burnt toast, bad Wi-Fi, rain) on "Trump's fault"?
Yes No